Living and existing in the moment is a key to life, but also to dating. Here are six important dating advice tips for dating in the moment. Dating in the 21st century can be a daunting endeavour, but you can’t let your anxiety get the best of you. It’s important that you live in the moment and take things as they come.
Photo, Priscilla Du Preez.
Not sure what that entails? Here are six important tips for dating in the moment.
1. Carve Out Time Before the Date: The key to dating in the moment is to live within the moment. However, if you’re jamming a date into a 30 minute time slot between work and a yoga class, you’re going to be thinking about everything other than the date itself. As a result, you won’t give your all to the date and, likely, it will end up being a waste of time.
The solution is to carve out some time before the date so that you can put yourself in the right mindset. By giving yourself 30 minutes to an hour to prepare yourself, you have time to meditate, get your energy levels up, and plan conversation pieces. Remember, the ultimate goal is for the date to blossom into a relationship. If you’re treating the date as just another obligation, it’s not going to blossom into anything.
2. Keep it Focussed on the Two of You: One of the quickest ways to shoot yourself in the foot during a date is to bring up an ex or someone else that you’re dating currently. The second a man hears you mention another man’s name, he begins to feel doubt over what your intentions are. For the duration of the date, you need to remain focussed on the connection that you and your date could potentially forge. Ask him about his interests, his work, his family, his friends. At the same time, speak a little about yours.
The goal should be to look out for common interests, social threads that tie you two together. Bringing other love interests into that equation is bound to sever those ties in a matter of seconds.
Photo, Alban Martel.
3. Turn Off Your Phone: Do you like it when you’re having a conversation with someone and they pull out their phone? No? Well, others don’t like it either. If you want your date to be a success, you need to turn your phone off. You’re here in the moment with a potential new partner, leave the sex chat for later.
Photo, Ilyuza Mingazova.
Being on your phone not only prevents you from being in the moment, but it also signals a carelessness to the person that you’re on a date with. In fact, some men consider phone use during a first date to be an immediate dealbreaker. It doesn’t matter if your date goes to use the bathroom or forgets something in his car. Keep that phone off and stashed away in your purse for the duration of the date. The second you take it out is the same second you get distracted, at which point the date has a good chance of going downhill.
4. Be Authentic: For many, this is the hardest one of all. After all, it’s not easy to open yourself up to someone you just met. However, if you want to forge a connection, you have to be yourself. Answer questions honestly, let your personality come out, and don’t be embarrassed about the way you act. If your date isn’t impressed, then he isn’t impressed. That doesn’t mean that you’re a failure or a bad person. It just means that the two of you don’t align.
It’s better to find this out earlier in the dating process than it is to find it out 1 year down the road. You can save yourself a lot of time (and grief) by just being open and authentic on the first date.
5. Take it Easy: While the typical goal of dating is to eventually form a relationship, you need to be careful not to try and form the relationship on the first date. In simpler terms, you need to take it easy. Don’t mention anything about mutual long-term plans. Don’t hint that you’re hoping to eventually get married. Whatever you do, don’t mention anything about having kids.
The men that you meet might very well want the same things that you do, but if you bring them up on the first date, you’re bound to scare a good many of these men off. Keep it light, flirty, and humorous, and you’re bound to get the result you’re looking for.
Photo, Kaylee Garrett.
6. Reveal a Life Outside of Dating: The last thing you want is to come across as needy. Generally speaking, people who act needy end up being deemed as unattractive. There’s no concrete reason as to why it’s true, but it’s one of the more common trends in the dating world. So, how do you prevent yourself from coming across as needy? By revealing a life outside of dating. If you show your date that you have a variety of friends and interests, you indicate to him that you don’t need him. You might want him, sure, but you don’t actually need him.
Bring up your yoga class, or the project that you’re working on, or anything else that indicates a life outside of trying to nab a man. Men generally like to ease their way into relationships, and by showing them that you’re the same, you’ll spark a higher level of interest.
In Need of More Personalised Dating Advice? Now that you know a little something about dating in the moment, you might be on the search for more personalized dating advice. If so, I’m here to help. My name is Giordana Toccaceli and I’m the CEO of the Embodied Feminine Woman Institute. My team and I do everything we can to transform our clients into highly desirable women.
If you’re struggling to keep dates interested, we can be of great assistance to you. Contact Giordana for a free consultation.
