Dating can be a daunting process for most of us. And first dates are especially hard as you’ll likely get the first date jitters. It is important to try and reign the nerves in and to channel them into something productive. Here’s seven top tips to help you mentally prepare for a first date.
Wear Something That Makes You Feel Good
One sure-fire way to make you feel confident is to wear something that makes you feel good. If you are wearing an outfit that makes you feel attractive, then you’re going to radiate good vibes and confidence.
Whether it is your favourite shirt, trousers, trainers or even a pair of socks. If they make you feel good then make sure you wear them on the date. Also, pro tip: make sure that whatever you end up putting on has been recently washed. Because you won’t feel very good if you can smell last week’s sweat on your shirt.
Photo, Giorgio Trovato.
Confidence Is Key
Confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear. It is not always easy for us to just summon the confidence and show the world who we are. If you are someone who struggles with social anxiety or even if you just feel a bit awkward, there are ways to project confidence even if you are not feeling it. If you want to prepare for a first date, then fake it until you make it.
The number one way to do this is through your body language. Hold your head up high, have your shoulders back and your chest up. Practice this posture in your mirror again and again until it starts to feel a bit more natural. The other way to radiate confidence is through your smile. Don’t hide your smile behind your hands or anything like that. A smile allows a person to warm to you and this will help to build meaningful connections.
Photo, Priscilla Du Preez.
Prepare Back-Up Conversation Subjects In Mind
Okay, so one thing that a lot of people are scared of when it comes to first dates is that they will not have anything to talk about and there will just be one long, awkward silence. This is rarely the case. However, one way to ease your pre-date anxiety is to have some backup conversation topics in mind.
This can be anything. Some common examples include talking about what they do for work, their family, friends, hobbies, pet peeves, and many more. If you need some more inspiration, check out Datingroo for more topics and conversational tips.
Be mindful of the person you are going on a date with. And try to avoid bringing up sensitive subjects. For instance, if you are dating a transgender person, then avoid asking questions about their transition unless they bring it up and appear comfortable.
Aside from this, another quick tip is to never, ever bring up your previous relationships and exes on a first date. Much like you do not want to hear about their exes, they do not want to hear about yours.
Photo, Jack Finnigan.
Keep An Open Mind
It is easy to let the pre-date nerves get the best of us sometimes, especially when you need to prepare for a first date. However, the key is to try and stay calm and keep an open mind. If you have any negative presumptions about the person or the place you are going to or just the date in general, then you need to try and rid your brain of these unhelpful thoughts.
If you go into this date thinking it will be terrible, then chances are it will be terrible because you have made it that way. You never know what can happen on a date. Regardless of whether it ends up being a great one or a terrible one, you shouldn’t decide in your head what it will be beforehand because this will set you up to fail.
Also, be open-minded to potential sexuality preferences or even kinks, the world is a more liberal place than it was 20 years ago. Your date might be bisexual and be looking for an open relationship. Equally, they might be keen to use ‘assistance’ from somewhere like the adult toy shop. Assert your preferences, but also be willing to listen to their adult decisions.
Go in with a positive outlook and an open mind, and then take what comes.
Listen To Your Favourite Playlist Before The Date
When the time begins to come closer, you should make a playlist with all your favourite songs and play these loudly while you get ready. Music has a huge effect on our mood and behaviour. So, if you are listening to the tunes you love, then you are going to rock up on your date feeling excited and confident.
We suggest you stick to the upbeat tunes. Listening to sad love songs beforehand is likely to turn you into a bit of a downer.
Photo, Elisa Ph.
Be Kind To Yourself
Going on a date is stressful. You should not waste any time being negative towards yourself. It’s one of the biggest dating mistakes you can make. If you are getting ready and calling yourself ugly or anything silly like that, you are only going to be hurting yourself.
Try to think about how you would talk to a friend before they go on a first date. You would never call a friend anything negative. So, why should you talk to yourself that way? Be patient with yourself and avoid falling into traps of self-deprecation. This is never going to be a useful thing.
Hype Yourself Up
This tip is a very important one. You might feel silly at times, but if you are getting ready for a date by yourself then who cares what you look like? Hype yourself up. Stand in the mirror and tell yourself how great you look. You need to be your own number one fan before going on that date. And, the more you tell yourself that you are the best, the more you are going to start to believe it.
Smile at yourself in the mirror and do a little catwalk showing off your outfit. This can be the last step in your mental preparation for your date and it will set you up for a successful and fun evening.
At the end of the day, we can all find first dates a bit awkward. The key is to go in with a positive outlook and be yourself. If they have agreed to go on a date with you then they want to date you and not some fake version of you. Do not waste time acting like someone you are not because you can’t keep up a façade forever.
Knowing how to prepare for a first date is crucial. Follow these steps, believe in yourself, and nothing can go wrong.
